Fruitcake Anyone?

In March, when mysteriously abandoned my blog, I got a job at a Curves. (For those living in the dark ages, an excellent fitness center designed for women). It seemed so perfect and wonderful. I’d get out of the house. Earn a little spending cash. Most signicantly, I hoped to help people improve their way of life. It’s good to have a dream.

I have since learned that I do not have the temperment to work in an environment of women. My Curves has about 800 members. Any one ever tried to make 800 women happy?

I am not thick-skinned. And I’m a perfectionist (though I’d like to believe a recovering perfectionist). One very unhappy lady and a couple of very minor incidents were enough to show me that I’m not cut out for this. Much in the same way I will never do day care, be a nurse, or drive a school bus.

As a wife and mother, there have been good reasons all along for not working, but I felt like I was working for the greater good. God has showed me it’s time to be done with that.

So now I’ve given notice. My boss really doesn’t want me to leave (the ladies I worked with were really great) and I’ll be working through November. It’s hard to quit, but I believe they can find someone that will fit better than me. In fact, a student from Cornerstone came in late last week looking for an application. I really hope it works for her.

Now I have to deal with being a “mom”. For some reason, the conservative undertones of a mom just scare the crap out of me. Gotta get over that. I’m gonna be a mom for a long time.

Some times I wonder how I manage to dress myself in the morning.

Beer and baseball just don’t mix. I know it’s tradition. I know it’s expected. But how on earth does FOX expect me to enjoy a cold frosty one and manage to stay up past the National Anthem. Someone’s gotta think these things through.

And what about foul balls? How many times have I seen the nice lady in the row below get doused with half a glass while Bob behind her is scrambling to catch the gem headed his way? And what about poor Bob? He paid $10 for that glass a beer. Now his only choice is to suck the other half off the lady’s shirt. If he’s had enough of the aforementioned beverage, he just might give it a try. For $10 concession should at least provide a top and bendy straw. Is a sippy cup too much to ask for? Maybe the guys with those oh-so-sexy beer dispensing hats had the right idea.

I shudder at the thought.

Yesterday, my husband was getting twitchy about my lack of blogging, so he gave me a list of things I could blog about. Gotta love him. He means well. (And yes, he checks my email too if I haven’t done that in a while.)

I grew up on a farm. Girliness isn’t high on the list of “need to knows”. However, if you need help setting fence posts or driving a trailer, I’m your girl. My mom did her best, but I decided when I had Molly, I needed to delve more into this girliness. So over the years, I’ve gathered some good referrence books.

The first are a set of books by Paula Begoun, the Cosmetics Cop. cosmeticscop.com She has two “Don’t Go Shopping Without” books and a Beauty Bible.

One Shopping book covers hair care products and the other face care and makeup. These books review most every product on the market and tell you what your really getting. She gives you an overview of the various chemicals used and which products work on what type of hair or skin. They’re an excellent way to sort through the various prices and save your self some time, money, and frustration.

The Beauty Bible covers things like how to determine your skin type and deal with problem skin, how to do a basic makeup application, and tips on how to make your manicure last. Generally, a good starter (or primer) for those, like me, who were clueless.

She does have her own line of products, but she also recommends scores of other products. Her products are nice because the majority are fragrance free and excellent for sensitive skin.

Another set I turn to frequently are the What Not To Wear books. They’re written by a pair of Brittish ladies who use themselves as models. They’re very funny, and blunt, and make you feel comfortable with your wobbly bits because they share their wobbly bits. The books reinforce the idea of loving the body you have and how to accentuate your positive aspects and camoflage the negative. And did I mention that they’re funny.

Take a look and see what you think. They’ve been indespensible to me, but not everyone is as inept as I am.

We have a new puppy. She’s about 7 months and her name is Lucky Dog. She was abandoned near my folks farm which is amazing. I’ve never seen a better dog. She rarely barks, she’s non-aggressive, short haired, and only about 10 inches tall. She potty trained quickly and is happy to spend most of her day lying on the heater.

We also have a new rug for the living room. I’ve been looking for one for a while. The space is an odd shape and high traffic. Also, rugs can be expensive and I wanted to make a good choice (and Toph’s really picky about soft textures). I finally decided on one, and as you know because I’m sure you read my last post, we brought it home last weekend. It’s green and soft.

Which is why I’m sure Lucky was confused this morning. I let her out of her kennel and asked if she wanted to go outside. She looked at me like I was crazy and went and curled up on the heater vent. It was 1 degree out this morning. I wouldn’t want to go pee outside either.

So, I went about my wifely duty and washed the dishes.

Imagine my surprise when I came in and my beautiful green rug had been christened by the little rat hiding on the heater, oh, excuse me, Rat Terrier.

After the initial shock wore off, and moment of abject fury, I realized that cleaning the rug wasn’t that hard. She is a small dog. It was a small puddle. And it sure was a lot warmer standing inside cleaning the rug than standing outside waiting for the dog. Maybe this wasn’t so bad.

It’s funny how weather can change your perspective on an otherwise unacceptable situation. Besides, I can imagine her confussion. It’s the only “grass” she’ll find in Michigan this time of year.