Beer and baseball just don’t mix. I know it’s tradition. I know it’s expected. But how on earth does FOX expect me to enjoy a cold frosty one and manage to stay up past the National Anthem. Someone’s gotta think these things through.

And what about foul balls? How many times have I seen the nice lady in the row below get doused with half a glass while Bob behind her is scrambling to catch the gem headed his way? And what about poor Bob? He paid $10 for that glass a beer. Now his only choice is to suck the other half off the lady’s shirt. If he’s had enough of the aforementioned beverage, he just might give it a try. For $10 concession should at least provide a top and bendy straw. Is a sippy cup too much to ask for? Maybe the guys with those oh-so-sexy beer dispensing hats had the right idea.

I shudder at the thought.